tj_dragonblade (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tj_dragonblade) wrote2006-05-30 12:55 am
tj_dragonblade) wrote2006-05-30 12:55 am
Entry tags:
[Fic] Awakenings (repost)
As this was my first real Saiyuki fic, I've never been quite satisfied that it had come out 'right'. Having moved into my second year in the fandom, I felt that I'd gotten a better handle on writing these guys and so began quite a bit of revision on this. Having now entered my third year, I'm thinking perhaps it's time to wrap up the tweaking and call it good enough. ^_^
In addition to grammatical tweaks like removing excess ellipses and emphasis marks and trading those left for italics and trimming off extraneous narrative fat and breaking down some of those paragraph-length run-ons I seem so fond of, there have also been adjustments made for characterization, as follows:
- Extensive attempts made to polish Gojyo's voice more toward Hirata than Guardiola though I'm afraid he still sounds like some blend halfway between the two
- Extensive dialogue and thought revisions in an effort to capture Ishida-Hakkai rather than Hunt-Hakkai
- Hakuryuu moved from a cushion in the corner of the room to Hakkai's bed
- Hakuryuu given spoken lines instead of simply being narrated through both of his scenes.
- Minor tweakings that attempt to address my initial blithe disregard for Hakkai's over-developed sense of modesty
- Minor tweakings that attempt to mop up most of the excess sap
Still far from perfect, and still flawed. 'Course, I was never aiming for perfect and I don't feel it's worth it to completely re-write the thing to address its flaws. Just wanted to do a bit of clean-up and practice little things like characterization and objective punctuation.
Fandom: Saiyuki
Title: Awakenings
Author: TJ Dragonblade
Rated: 13+
Pairings: Hakkai/Gojyo. Peripheral Gojyo/OFC, Hakkai/Kanan, brief speculation on Goku/Sanzo.
Setting: Erm...early-to-mid-journey, summertime. Bearing in mind that I have no real idea what season they set out in. Probably fits better with the anime timeline, pre-Homura.
Summary: Gojyo's luck with the ladies one night leads Hakkai to the discovery of an inexplicable jealousy and Gojyo to the discovery of an equally inexplicable emptiness...
Warnings/This Fic Contains: Yaoi. Mild angst. A bit of sap. Scattered language. Mention of het with brief nudity. Men kissing while shirtless. Brief flashes of fantasy that could warrant a stricter rating. Mention of various events that could amount to spoilers in relation to Hakkai and particularly to his history with Gojyo...oh. And a brief moment of mild Hakkai fan-service.
Disclaimer: The many incarnations and characters of Saiyuki were created by the wonderfully talented Kazuya Minekura--may she be forever blessed and properly deified for sharing her vision with the rest of us. I venture onto her playground in the name of entertainment and maintaining my sanity; in so doing I mean no disrespect or copyright infringement.
Cross-posting:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
hardlove, hakkailove and saiyukiyaoi, as I wasn't a comm-member when I first posted this.
Part One of Three Contains brief flashes of fantasy that aren't quite worksafe.
Part Two of Three Mentions female nudity; work-safety issue left to individual discretion
Part Three of Three Worksafe
In addition to grammatical tweaks like removing excess ellipses and emphasis marks and trading those left for italics and trimming off extraneous narrative fat and breaking down some of those paragraph-length run-ons I seem so fond of, there have also been adjustments made for characterization, as follows:
- Extensive attempts made to polish Gojyo's voice more toward Hirata than Guardiola though I'm afraid he still sounds like some blend halfway between the two
- Extensive dialogue and thought revisions in an effort to capture Ishida-Hakkai rather than Hunt-Hakkai
- Hakuryuu moved from a cushion in the corner of the room to Hakkai's bed
- Hakuryuu given spoken lines instead of simply being narrated through both of his scenes.
- Minor tweakings that attempt to address my initial blithe disregard for Hakkai's over-developed sense of modesty
- Minor tweakings that attempt to mop up most of the excess sap
Still far from perfect, and still flawed. 'Course, I was never aiming for perfect and I don't feel it's worth it to completely re-write the thing to address its flaws. Just wanted to do a bit of clean-up and practice little things like characterization and objective punctuation.
Fandom: Saiyuki
Title: Awakenings
Author: TJ Dragonblade
Rated: 13+
Pairings: Hakkai/Gojyo. Peripheral Gojyo/OFC, Hakkai/Kanan, brief speculation on Goku/Sanzo.
Setting: Erm...early-to-mid-journey, summertime. Bearing in mind that I have no real idea what season they set out in. Probably fits better with the anime timeline, pre-Homura.
Summary: Gojyo's luck with the ladies one night leads Hakkai to the discovery of an inexplicable jealousy and Gojyo to the discovery of an equally inexplicable emptiness...
Warnings/This Fic Contains: Yaoi. Mild angst. A bit of sap. Scattered language. Mention of het with brief nudity. Men kissing while shirtless. Brief flashes of fantasy that could warrant a stricter rating. Mention of various events that could amount to spoilers in relation to Hakkai and particularly to his history with Gojyo...oh. And a brief moment of mild Hakkai fan-service.
Disclaimer: The many incarnations and characters of Saiyuki were created by the wonderfully talented Kazuya Minekura--may she be forever blessed and properly deified for sharing her vision with the rest of us. I venture onto her playground in the name of entertainment and maintaining my sanity; in so doing I mean no disrespect or copyright infringement.
Cross-posting:
hardlove, hakkailove and saiyukiyaoi, as I wasn't a comm-member when I first posted this.Part One of Three Contains brief flashes of fantasy that aren't quite worksafe.
Part Two of Three Mentions female nudity; work-safety issue left to individual discretion
Part Three of Three Worksafe