tj_dragonblade | [Ficlet] Only a Memory

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[Ficlet] Only a Memory

Okay, so about a week and a half ago Brad dropped a 'Monkey x Hakuryuu OTP' comment in my journal and thus a bunny was born. It's gen-fic and not at all what's implied by the comment, in the end, but I'm pleased enough with it to share. Un-beta'ed; this was mostly an exercise in heeding inspiration and matching it to character-playlist music and following it through to its end.

Title: Only a Memory
Author: TJ Dragonblade
Rated: 7+
Characters: Hakuryuu, Goku
Notes: No particular warnings; gen-fic, wordcount 729
Summary: Monkeys have nightmares too.

Downloadable Musical Assistance: Yanni, Only a Memory

It was a faint noise that woke Hakuryuu. A tiny noise, really, and quite indistinct - a sigh, or a strained breath, or perhaps a shifting of blankets. There was something to it, however, some minute nuance of sound that signified distress.

One of his charges was not sleeping peacefully.

The little dragon uncurled from his customary nest at Hakkai's side - it was not this one tonight, thankfully - and hopped up to the windowsill to survey the room.

All four of his passengers were tucked into narrow beds in the small space; it was all the accomodation they'd been able to find for the night. Hakkai slumbered directly beneath the window, turned on his side with space enough left for Hakuryuu to curl up at his chest. Gojyo sprawled face-down in a tangle of sheets in the next bed, one lanky arm 'round his pillow and the other dangling over the side of the mattress, knuckles grazing the bare floor. Sanzo slept at the far end of the row, turned to face the wall with his back to his companions, a token gesture of distance that was all this room could afford him.

Between Gojyo and Sanzo slept Goku, and it was quickly obvious that it was he who had inadvertently awoken the dragon.

His bedcovers were tossed back and his body was twisted into a position not normal to sleeping. He was crowded to the very edge of the narrow bed as though pressing against some invisible barrier, one hand digging into the corner of the mattress, the other outstretched. He was reaching, reaching for some precious nothing that remained just beyond his grasp, and his face was contorted into an expression of desperate panic.

Hakuryuu launched himself from the windowsill and glided on silent wings to Goku's bed, dropping lightly to rest behind the boy. He tugged gently at the hem of Goku's shirt, exerting just enough suggestion of force to influence the troubled sleeper into rolling partway onto his back, away from the edge. Goku made a tiny sound of distress in the bottom of his throat; the fingers of his outstretched hand closed, then opened again, straining, still reaching. Hakuryuu fluttered quietly into the air, teeth and talons grasping the rumpled blankets, and tucked them gently up around his youngest charge. He settled on Goku's pillow, head tilted to one side, observing with quiet sadness the youth's tightly drawn brow and the single tear that trickled from the corner of one eye back into tousled brown hair. He rubbed the fur of his cheek against the trail of that tear, drying it, and tucked his head down beneath Goku's ear. He purred gently, trilling soft, tiny noises in a rhythm meant to soothe his young friend's troubled dreams.

Goku's breathing slowly evened out, and some of the tension in his body eased. His face, however, remained twisted in distress, and still he reached for whatever lay beyond his grasp.

Taking silently to the air once more, Hakuryuu hovered over Goku's outstretched hand, uncertain how to proceed. He thought that the nightmare might recede if perhaps that deserate reaching were sated; tentatively, he switched the end of his tail gently across Goku's palm.

He was not at all prepared for Goku's hand to fly upward at that touch, nor to be unceremoniously yanked from the air by Goku's fingers closing tight around his body.

Abrupt, irrational panic seized the dragon's heart; it subsided just as quickly. Goku had once promised never to eat him, after all; besides which, the sudden flailing grip had gentled immediately. A soft smile of pure, simple happiness came over Goku's sleeping face; he drew Hakuryuu in close to his chest and settled more soundly in his blankets.

Hakuryuu blinked, not entirely sure what to make of this, and craned around to observe Goku's face once again.

The distressed crease of his brow was no more; his features had smoothed into a proper semblance of peaceful repose at last.

With an air of wry amusement, the little dragon blew out a soft puff of breath and curled himself more comfortably into the crook of Goku's shoulder. Tucking a wing over his young friend's hand around his body, he closed his eyes and let sleep claim him once again.

If it brought the child peace, truly, what was the harm in changing beds for the night?

Beg: 5/20/06
Draft: 5/27/06
Posted: 5/28/06

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Sorry about the bunny... (takes the bunny doll away and gives you a hakuryuu with tiny bunny ears)

Ahh, no no, thank you for the bunny! It feels good to have written something again.

Hee. Bunny-eared Hakuryuu! ^_^

I know the feeling. It took me a four month to finish my recent fiction.

~ wibbles ~

That was so sweeet! Made me cry, but in a good way. Thank you for sharing!

That was very adorable. I really enjoy the way that you portrayed Hakuryu as the caring guardian, as has been suggested a few times in the manga. I hope to see more stuff from you, especially if it's Hakuryu-centric. ^.^

Awwww! That's so cute! :)

...That's just too damn cute. I love that little guy, I really do.

Great job with this!

You're welcome, and thank you for the insistence that something should be written. Even if it's not the crack-smut originally implied. ^_^;

^_^ Thank you!

Hee. Thank you!

I love that little guy, I really do.

Me too, me too! He's officially edged out everyone else to become my favorite Saiyuki character, by now. And your icon is just plain adorable. ^_^

The bird.

*happy, soft, admiring sigh*

...Wow. Oh. Oh, TJ, oh. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Oh, this is absolutely beautiful. Beautiful premise and beautifully written.

I have so often seen the bird equated with Konzen-Sanzo that it seems it's been accepted as fanon and not much thought is put into its mention anymore (though I have seen some very good fics with it). This twist on it makes it so much more poignant.

Well done. Into the memories it goes (no pun intended).

Adorable! It's rare to find fics focus on these two. I love it even more with the music you chose. <3

Abrupt, irrational panic seized the dragon's heart; it subsided just as quickly. Goku had once promised never to eat him, after all

This line has me giggling even now ♥

The Hakuryuu point of view is so sweet! I really like how you portrayed him as the guardian of the group ^^

Hee. Thank you. I am quite overly fond of Hakuryuu; he's slowly edged his way up to become my favorite character - I think it was his ranking of the Ikkou that gave him that lead. ^_^ Anyway. Uhm...the rest of the stuff I've written is here (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=tj_dragonblade&keyword=My+Fics&filter=all) for fics, and here (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=tj_dragonblade&keyword=My+Drabbles&filter=all) for drabbles. Hakuryuu-centric works would be 'Displaced' and 'Kindling' among the drabbles, maybe 'Oops II' as well. The fics would be 'What Never Was and Never Will Be' and the untitled Devil's food thingy. He also has a couple of semi-prominent scenes in the first part of my 85 fic 'Awakenings'.

I do have several works in progress, a handful of which are focused on Hakuryuu. Hopefully I'll get them finished relatively soon.

Fair warning: I've developed an obsessive fascination for dragon-sex, which means that I see Hakuryuu as a sentient personality with the same desires and attachments as his non-dragon companions and am perfectly willing to write him in adult situations with one or two of them in particular. If you're not into that, then steer clear of 'Kindling' and the Devil's food ficlet. Otherwise, read as you like, and thank you again for the comments! ^_^

Whoops. And yes, the little 'Lovely Babies' story has had a profound influence on my view of how Hakuryuu perceives himself in relation to the group. Best bit of 'filler' in the entire series, that. ^_^

The bird just broke my heart the first time I saw that sequence in the anime, and all over again when it showed up in the manga. A loneliness that great, especially in someone so open-hearted as Goku, is bound to come back to haunt him somewhere along the way. And I just can't seem (nor do I want) to turn away from the notion that Hakuryuu sees himself as...as...well, that he probably views his passengers as children of a sort in his care. All of them, y'know? 'Lovely Babies' kind of cemented that for me. This was a quick, spontaneous sort of bunny to play with the idea a little, and just to do something different.

Although I'm now left with the thought: If Hakkai's the mother-hen of the group, I guess that makes Hakuryuu the daddy...?

Anyway. Thank you so much for reading, and commenting. ^_^♥

Eee, thank you. ^_^ The whole thing with the bird made quite an impact on me. It drives home how horribly horribly lonely poor Goku would have been those 500 years locked alone. It's a wonder he's still sane, y'know? But yeah. There's always so much angst to be explored with the other three, but Goku has his own share, too. And Hakuryuu, even if he doesn't consciously remember leading armies, is always going to have that leader-caretaker instinct, will always be watching out for the welfare of his men/companions. There are so many many things I want to write with him. So many half-written already that need to be finished. >_< I really wanted to do more with my vacation, but...feh. No use in lamenting what didn't get done when I chose to spend my time elsewhere. *pulls mood back up*

Thank you so much for reading, and commenting. ^_^♥

Music enhances everything. *nodnod*

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thank you so much for commenting! I wasn't sure the 'promised never to eat him' line really fit in, but...eh. I left it anyway. ^_^

I can't help seeing him that way - it just fits, to my point of view. *loves the dragon* Thank you for reading and commenting!!

I think it's less a mommy-daddy situation than two caregivers of equal status and longterm partnership....I think of a same-sex couple because it's an analogy that's easier to see as equal (rather than the difficulties associated with assigning separate gender roles).

But, to the core of your idea: Yes, yes, and more yes. ♥

Mmh. True, true. The best partnerships are those of equality. Besides which, the idea of those two as that sort of partner just pulls all sorts of heartstrings in me anyway, know what I mean?

I know what you mean about the edging out part. >.< I never used to like bestiality of incest, then Saiyuki comes along. *Deaded* And now I'm suddenly in love with it. It's so wrong, and all Hakkai and (mostly) Hakuryuu's fault.

And thanks! I'm making a new Hakuryuu set. ^.^

Oh, goodness, yes. Incest has always been a huge squick. I turned green when I first found out about Kanan, which was long before I got to that point in the manga. By the time Jien and his mom was revealed, though, I'd gotten so damned used to it that it hardly even phased me. ^_^; And I've got a special corner of my perverted heart reserved for twincest, too.

nekonexus has his marvelous fic where Hakkai and Nii are reincarnated as twins? With a very special bond? *nodnod* That's good stuff, it is.

Bestiality still gives me the heebies, though. Particularly when the animal doesn't necessarily possess any higher intelligence. That's what sets the dragon!sex apart from simple bestiality for me, and why I draw the distinction between them. Dragons are mythical creatures to begin with, and generally portrayed with intelligence and mental capacity equalling or surpassing human. Hakuryuu in particular is so much more than just a pet, in my eyes, that I think that's what grabs me so deeply about it. I view him as fully sentient and self-aware but simply limited by an animal form. Which means he and Hakkai (and/or Gojyo! XD) just have to be creative in working around it, in realizing the potential between them in the first place. If I were to run across were-sex while in animal form, or mystical/magical-type animals with 'human' intelligence in a sexual context, I'm quite sure I'd also be very enticed by that. But if it's just a matter of somebody getting it on with their circus lions, or their pet dog/cat/what have you, the squick is still somehow very much there.

But. Yes. Minekura is an insidiously subversive woman, to take the dark and the taboo and twist it into the ordinary and even the appealing. Saiyuki corrupts and perverts in the most gleeful sort of ways. I love it. ^_^

I'm making a new Hakuryuu set

That reminds me - d'you happen to know which ep of Gunlock (or is it Reload?) the screencap in your 'Feed me, slave' icon is from?

Hee. So true, so true. Minekura is a truly ...persuasive woman, isn't she? Heh.

...*Blinkblink* Good question. I think I usually get my icon pics from reload, but I'll check for you.

...Ah. Episode eight of reload.

*Eyes glow creepily* Eeh, Hakuryuu smut! Ahem...Excuse me, but could you point me to some fics like that? I'm a rabid fan of Hakkai x Hakuryuu, but anything with Hakuryuu will do.

Haaah. Whoops. Let's see if I can't get the html right this time, eh?

Ahhh, dragon!smut. *grins* Let's see.

The fic that blew my initial aversion to the notion completely out of the water: Kiro's Possessive. (http://kintail.livejournal.com/11553.html)

There's also BakaGaijin's It's a Jeep Thing. (http://baka-gaijin.livejournal.com/48949.html)

I've written Kindling (http://tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com/119459.html) and this untitled thingy (http://tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com/142923.html), both of which are suggestive more than outright smutty.

...I...could have sworn that I had more links than that. Feh. I guess I forget that most of the dragon!sex is still in my head, unfortunately. ^_^;

...There is also this (http://tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com/146499.html), which is a rough-draft full-smut scene-snippet from a fic that I'm still trying to get written. Not at all complete, still has a few holes in it here and there and I probably shouldn't even be offering it. But. In the interest of keeping the little dragon!sex corner of the fandom alive and well: If you'd like to read it, drop a line back and I'll unlock it so you can.

Some Hakuryuu-centric fics that aren't necessarily Hakkai x Hakuryuu but are still wonderful to read:

Treneka's Small Miracles (http://trensaddiction.livejournal.com/105503.html?mode=reply), which is crack but completely wonderful and also Eggshells (http://trensaddiction.livejournal.com/68601.html), which is one of the sweetest things I've ever read.

Louise Lux has written this untitled (http://louiselux.livejournal.com/337715.html?mode=reply) little ficlet as well.

FuziPenguin's A Dragon's Eyes (http://community.livejournal.com/1000_miles_west/32704.html)

BanditWraith's Hakuryu's Favorite Things (http://community.livejournal.com/100_roadtrips/168099.html?replyto=bottom)

And to continue my shameless self-promotion, I've also written this (http://tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com/74292.html) and this (http://tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com/72076.html).

There are art links I ought to send you, too, but I'll have to find them tomorrow. For now? Happy reading. Even if they are all short, alas.

Eeh...*In a happy haze of Hakuryuu-fangirling* Thank you so much! I read them each in a about two seconds flat, and was upset when I got to the end of the list. Hallelujia, praised be every deity which exists/does not exist; I have found Saiyuki fanfic which I will reread many, many times!

...Ahem. 'Scuse my fangirling.

May I read the locked dragon-sex ficlet, please? I would very much like to have a look at it, and probably fall off my chair squeeing, in paroxyms of fangirl joy *has actually done this*.

Thank you once again!

Aah. Well, then. *places sufficiently floofy pillows strategically around your chair* Just in case.

The fic-snippet is now unlocked. If you could let me know after you've read so I can lock it back up? It's part of a WIP of course, and chock-full of racy-taboo content that I'd rather not have open to the possibility of accidental public consumption, y'know? ^_^ Thanks.

Aaalso. I found a few more pieces that I overlooked in my linking last night see I knew I had more!:

A set of three Hakuryuu-in-Jeep-form x Hakkai drabbles (http://karotsamused.livejournal.com/22989.html#comments) by KarotsAmused. The links at the bottom, for the song? They won't work anymore, but if you were curious to hear I would gladly email both mixes to you if you can provide me an address. The song, and the running joke between Karot and Nightengale led in turn to Karot's Studio Time (http://karotsamused.livejournal.com/56772.html#comments), in which Hakuryuu joins the band in singing it. ^_^

Louise Lux has also written this (http://louiselux.livejournal.com/268259.html), which make me snicker every time I read it.

~~There's also this crackish little number () by Yomigaere.~~ Scratch that; I cannot for the life of me find a link and if memory served it was locked down anyway. Drop me an email addy; I'll send you the copy I've got directly.

Treneka has written No Man on the Field (http://community.livejournal.com/100_roadtrips/2005/10/03/), a stunning little drabble that speculates on Gonou, harks back to Gaiden, and still leaves me aching in breathless awe. I don't know how familiar you are with Gaiden; this will have much more of an impact if you at least know who's who and how they relate to one another.

Treneka has also written a delightfully fluffy little bit about Hakuryuu and bubble-bath (http://trensaddiction.livejournal.com/107745.html?thread=695009#t695009). ^_^

Now, this little piece (http://tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com/142192.html?thread=763248#t763248) was dropped in my journal anonymously to cheer me up when I was sick. It blurs the lines between Goujun-Tenpou and Hakuryuu-Hakkai in a warmly sensual way; it's sweet with a little swirl of hot in it and I really really like it. I'm quite sure I know who wrote it, but if she wishes to remain unnamed I'll honor that. Helpful here to know Gaiden as well.

(...because it got too big for one comment...)

I mentioned Art links too, didn't I. Okay. First, you'll need to join the community

pie_industries so that you can see these. It's totally worth it, too, because Joe Blank is a fabulous artist and she does a lot of delicious Saiyuki stuff as well as original art and possibly a few other fandoms, if you dig deep enough. If you've got a few minutes, I highly recommend browsing back through the community as far as you can. The 'Wings' series of pics is particularly good, especially Hakkai's. Blood. Angst. Low-riding pants. Nngh. *wipes drool*

The pieces of principal interest to the topic at hand:

Hakkai and Hakuryuu in the shower (http://community.livejournal.com/pie_industries/15683.html), the pic from which I made my icon. It's actually fan-art for another fic that I still haven't finished. It. Is. Gorgeous. Warm and incredibly sensual, even though it's ultimately innocent. For reference, this is the posted snippet (http://tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com/118672.html?thread=608912#t608912) that inspired it.

Post-coital Hakuryuu and Hakkai (http://community.livejournal.com/pie_industries/14107.html). I love this pic. It came along very shortly after Kiro's "Possessive" fic and definitly had a hand in getting me addicted to the pairing last year. It's sweet and erotic and hot in a very under-stated way.

A sketch (http://community.livejournal.com/pie_industries/20483.html) of Hakkai and Hakuryuu. Fluffy and innocent.

Another sketch (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v104/uberdomkumagoro/Other%20Fanart/kintail.jpg), this one done for Kiro's birthday. Pleasantly suggestive. ^_^ Also not actually posted to

pie_industries, so I'm not sure if the link's going to work for you or not.

If you have any trouble with the pics or can't join the comm for some reason (which I doubt, but just in case), please let me know. ~~I can email them all if needed~~.

Okay. If I recall anything else I may have forgotten or overlooked, I'll let you know. Fangirl away!

...I should tag this, for the next time someone asks...

Eeh, feeding the addiction! And thanks for the pillows- as you can see in my comment on the dragon!sex ficlet, I needed them. (You can relock the post now- very, very racy. Fantastic, though).

I'm afraid that I don't know Gaiden from a pencil; all I know of it is hearsay, really. Though it sounds brilliant...

Thanks on a stick for more recs! My e-mail address is gljm_2@hotmail.com

Ehm, I'm totally embarrassed to admit this, but I can't join the comm. Biologically, I'm underage. (Mentally, I'm fine, but that's not what's counted). I am sorry about that. Maybe you could e-mail them?

Thanks.

'Them' being the pictures- a friend just read that comment, and got confused.

here through moonsilverfic's rec
and you have a nice set of jeep fics.
thanks for the heads-up, i hope to read them as well
thank you

wonderful set of stories you have on rec on Jeep.
Except the one that was locked, i managed to read all that was open. A few were new to me, and some i had already discovered in looking for saiyuki fics.

the crack fic that had Jeep give birth to Bike is probably my favorite. part of the reason is the imagery i get from Bike with his solo rider.

let me know if you ever want to unlock that jeep fic
i think i would like to read it. Thank you.

~ sneaks in ~

recc'ing this fic today.

~ sneaks out ~

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ficlet] Only a Memory

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